[VERONICA]
September 1st, 1989. Dear Diary: I believe I'm a good person.
Ya know, I think there's good in everyone.
But here we are, first day of senior year!
I look around at all these kids I've known all my life and I ask myself: What happened?
[KIDS]
Freak! Slut! Burnout! Bug-eyes! Poser! Lard-ass!
[VERONICA]
We were so tiny, happy and shiny, playing tag and getting chased.
[KIDS]
Freak! Slut! Loser! Shortbus!
[VERONICA]
C6sus
Singing and clapping,
laughing and napping,
baking cookies, eating paste.
[KIDS]
Bull-dyke! Stuck-up! Hunchback!
[VERONICA]
Then we got bigger.
That was the trigger,
Like the Huns invading Rome - Sorry!
#5/
Welcome to my school,
This ain't no high school:
This is the Thunderdome.
Hold your breath
and count the days,
we're graduating soon.
[KIDS]
White trash!
[VERONICA]
College will be paradise
If I'm not dead by June!
But I know, I know, life can be beautiful.
Ebadd2
I pray, I pray for a better way.
If we changed back then,
we could change again.
We can be beautiful...
[HIPSTER DORK]
Ow!
[VERONICA]
Just not today.
Hey, are you okay?
[HIPSTER DORK]
Get away, nerd.
[KIDS]
Freak! Slut! Cripple! Homo! Homo! Homo!
[VERONICA]
Things will get better
soon as my letter
comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown.
#5/
Wake from this coma,
take my diploma,
N..
then I can blow this town.
Dream of ivy-covered walls
and smoky French cafes...
[RAM]
Watch it!
[VERONICA]
Fight the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze!
[RAM]
Ooooops.
[VERONICA]
N.. or (xxxx01)
Ram Sweeney. Third year as linebacker.
And eighth year of smacking lunch trays and BEING HUGE DICK.
[RAM]
What did you say to me skank?
[VERONICA]
N..
... Nothing.
[VERONICA & KIDS]
Ebadd2
But I know, I know, life can be beautiful.
I pray, I pray for a better way.
#5 #5/
We were kind before,
we can be kind once more.
We will be beautiful...
[VERONICA]
Agh!... Hey Martha.
[MARTHA]
Hey.
[VERONICA]
Martha Dunnstock. My best friend since diapers.
[MARTHA]
We on for movie night?
[VERONICA]
Yeah, you're on Jiffy Pop detail.
[MARTHA]
I rented "The Princess Bride."
[VERONICA]
Again? Don't you have it memorized by now?
[MARTHA]
What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending.
[KURT]
Martha Dumptruck! Wide load!
N..
Honnnnnk!
[VERONICA]
N.. or (xxxx01)
Kurt Kelly. Quarterback. He is the smartest guy on the football team.
Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf.
Hey! Pick that up right now!
[KURT]
I'm sorry, are you actually talking to me?
[VERONICA]
Yes, I am. I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on my friend.
You're a high school has-been waiting to happen. A future gas station attendant.
[KURT]
N..
You have a zit right there.
[VERONICA]
N..
Dear diary:
Why...
[HIPSTER DORK]
Why do they hate me?
[REPUBLICAN GIRL]
Why don't I fight back?
[KURT]
Why do I act like such a creep?
[VERONICA]
Why...
[MARTHA]
Why won't he date me?
[RAM]
Why did I hit him?
[STONER CHICK, MS. FLEMING, & BLOW-DRIED PREPPY]
Why do I cry myself to sleep?
[VERONICA]
Why?!...
[KIDS]
Somebody hug me!
Somebody fix me!
Somebody save me!
Send me a sign, God!
Give me some hope here!
Something to live for!
[KIDS]
Aah... Heather, Heather, and Heather...
[VERONICA]
Then there's the Heathers. They float above it all.
[KIDS]
I love Heather, Heather, and Heather...
I hate Heather, Heather, and Heather...
[VERONICA]
Heather McNamara. Head cheerleader. Her dad's loaded - he sells engagement rings.
[KIDS]
I want Heather, Heather, and Heather...
[VERONICA]
Heather Duke. Runs the yearbook. No discernible personality, but her mom did pay for implants.
And Heather Chandler. The Almighty.
[KIDS]
I need Heather, Heather-
[VERONICA]
N..
She is a mythic bitch.
They are solid Teflon - never bothered, never harassed.
I would give anything to be like that.
[HIPSTER DORK]
I'd like to be their boyfriend.
[KIDS]
That would be beautiful.
[STONER CHICK]
If I sat at their table, guys would notice me!
[KIDS]
So beautiful!
[MARTHA]
#5/
I'd like them to be nicer.
[KIDS]
That would be beautiful.
[BELEAGUERED GEEK]
I'd like to kidnap a Heather and photograph her naked in an abandoned warehouse
N..
and leave her tied up for the rats!
[HEATHER DUKE]
(vomits)
[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Grow up, Heather. Bulimia is so '87.
[HEATHER MCNAMARA]
Maybe you should see a doctor, Heather.
[HEATHER DUKE]
Yeah, Heather, Maybe I should.
[MS. FLEMING]
N..
Ah, Heather and Heather...and Heather.
Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over all the vomiting. You're late for class.
[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Heather wasn't feeling well. We're helping her.
[MS. FLEMING]
Not without a hall pass you're not. Week's detention.
[VERONICA]
N..
Uh, actually, Ms. Fleming, all four of us are out on a hall pass. Yearbook committee.
[MS. FLEMING]
... I see you're all listed. Hurry up and get where you're going.
[HEATHER CHANDLER]
This is an excellent forgery. Who are you?
[VERONICA]
Veronica Sawyer. I crave a boon.
[HEATHER CHANDLER]
What boon?
[VERONICA]
Um, let me sit at your table at lunch. Just once. No talking necessary.
If people think you guys tolerate me, they'll leave me alone...
Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips and absence notes.
[HEATHER DUKE]
How about prescriptions?
[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Shut up, Heather.
[HEATHER DUKE]
Sorry, Heather.
[HEATHER CHANDLER]
For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure.
[HEATHER MCNAMARA]
And a symmetrical face. If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull,
Bb7sus/
I'd have matching halves. That's very important.
[HEATHER DUKE]
Bb7sus/ N..
Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds.
[HEATHER CHANDLER]
And ya know, ya know, ya know?
This could be beautiful.
Mascara, maybe some lip gloss,
and we're on our way.
Get this girl some blush;
And Heather, I need your brush.
Let's make her beautiful.
[HEATHER MCNAMARA]
Let's make her beautiful...
[HEATHER DUKE]
Let's make her beautiful...
[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Make her beautiful!
Okay?
[VERONICA]
Okay!
[KURT]
Out of my way, geek!
[BELEAGUERED GEEK]
I don't want trouble!
[RAM]
You're gonna die at 3pm!
[REPUBLICAN GIRL & GOTH GIRL]
Don't you dare touch me! Get away, pervert!
[BELEAGUERED GEEK]
What'd I ever do to them?
[KIDS]
Who could survive this?
I can't escape this!
I think I'm dying!
[MS. FLEMING]
N..
Who's that with Heather?
[KIDS]
Whoa.
Heather, Heather, Heather...
[GOTH GIRL]
And someone!
[KIDS]
Heather, Heather, Heather...
[PRINCIPAL, COACH, & MS. FLEMING]
And a babe!
[KIDS]
Heather, Heather, Heather...
[MARTHA]
N..
Veronica?!
[KIDS]
Veronica?
Veronica!
Veronica!!!
[VERONICA & KIDS]
And ya know, ya know, ya know, life can be beautiful.
You hope, you dream, you pray, and you get your way!
#5 #5/
Ask me how it feels
looking like hell on wheels...
My God, it's beautiful!
I might be beautiful!
And when you're beautiful...
It's a beautiful frickin' day!
[KIDS]
Heather! Heather! Heather! Veronica!
Heather! Heather! Heather! Veronica!
Veronica!
Veronica!
Veronica!
VERONICA!