He was sittin' at the bar, sippin' a regular Coke We were drinkin' and smokin' and makin' him the butt of our jokes We all said man what happened to you, why can't you just have a few He said I would if I could, but it's probably best that I don't 'Cause the more I drink, the more I drink Then I'm the world's greatest lover and a dancin' machine I get loud, and I get proud, and it gets worse Well if I have one, I have thirteen, no there ain't no in-between 'Cause the more I drink, hmm, the more I drink A couple of cold ones and somebody hands me a shot Hell even bucktooth and bowlegged women start lookin' hot And pretty soon I'm bummin' cigarettes and sweet talkin' some big brunette Once I get on a roll, there ain't no tellin' where I'll stop 'Cause the more I drink, the more I drink And I'm the world's greatest lover and a dancin' machine I get loud, I get proud, and it gets worse Yeah if I have one I'll have thirteen, now there ain't no in-between 'Cause the more I drink, the more I drink, the more I drink, yeah yeah Mmm that's what I'm talkin' about Man if I have one, I'll have thirteen Then they can't get me off the kareokee machine The more I drink, the more I drink Yeah the more I drink, the more I drink, the more I drink