Just when I thought everything would be okay Just when I started to believe that everything was going my way Out came the cloud from under my feet Crashing back down to reality You used to call me pumpkin now I'm Halloween Remember when I used to be your jelly bean You used to call me schnookums and shit like that Now you're after me with a baseball bat I remember when I used to be the king Your honey sweety darling baby everything I used to be your tall dark mystery man Now I'm just straight up history man Just when I thought everything would be alright Just when I started to believe that everything was out of sight You left me with nothing but a scribbled note That said I would no longer be your love boat From here on out my pet name would be X Your X your X your X It used to be sugar then it turned into salt I used to rock your world now I'm standing on a fault line Lying naked in a hail storm in the dark You're my little tornado and I am your trailer park You used to call me names too cute to repeat Like honey bunch hairy bear and piccolo peet Goochy goochy goo gaga shit like that Now you're after me screaming you dirty rat I don't remember applying for a name change So why is it you're calling me Mister Deranged Psycopathic pornographic stinking drunk Failing fast lying ass worthless punk You used to call me sweety pie and baby doll I guess another stud's kicking in my stall You'll probably call him superman or loverboy