I want a commodious commode To have when I get old With a super soft toilet seat One that's easy on my cheeks I need super soft toilet paper Not the kind like sandpaper But it needs to be the stronger kind So none's left in my behind. I need a shelf with lots of books Perhaps a stove so I can cook That would really make me smile Cause I'm gonna a be there a while. I need a commodious commode One that can handle heavy loads With a super powered flush So it won't ever stop up. And if I'm ever feeling frustration When I'm stopped up from constipation I know it will be okay Cause I can sit in there all day. Everyone needs a place Where they can go just to escape Well, that's good enough for me And people can just let me be. Now I don't ask for much I'm a simple man But I'd like some comfort when I use the can Oh when I really really have to go I want me a commodious commode