Now hear ye all you rascals, with your bellies full of pie, And listen to this tale of old where the hero's four feet high! (Yay!!) He's a master of concealment, and an adept at disguise, Which he uses when he's sneaking past a husband's watchful eye! He's slain many a villain, be it dragon wolf or wizard, And he's looted chests, of all the best of treasures he could find! He's the undefeated champion, of adventure war and passion, And he sings this song as he goes along with a fiddle and a pipe The Grass is Green, The Air Is Clean A sweet lass by my side, There ain't nobody looking so, I squeeze her rump behind. The world is full of monsters vile but They ain't here at the time So lift your roast, propose a toast To these drunken friends of mine Our hero journeyed far and wide, finding riches, gold and magic, But he never found his true loves heart, and it made him sad and tired then one day while he was walking, he was shot as he was singing, An elf maiden fair from over there, with a bow as she was fine. She apologized profusely, said she thought he was a dwarf, And she carried him to the nearest inn, where she nursed him back to life, Well they fell in love directly, and she married him that night, So the Halfling and the comely Elf made a song about their time. The Grass is Green, The Air Is Clean A sweet lass by my side, There ain't nobody looking so, I squeeze her rump behind. The world is full of monsters vile but They ain't here at the time So lift your roast, propose a toast To these drunken friends of mine The Grass is Green, The Air Is Clean A sweet lass by my side, There ain't nobody looking so, I squeeze her rump behind. The world is full of monsters vile but They ain't here at the time So lift your roast, propose a toast To these drunken friends of mine